There are two types of custody. There is legal custody and physical custody. These two types of custody are very different things. Legal custody is the parent’s ability to make life-altering decisions for their child, while physical custody is where the child lives.

This question revolves around what is in the best interest of the child(ren). This is the standard for child custody determinations in Massachusetts. This determination is made after factoring in several things, such as the age of the child, which parent has been the nurturing parent (relationship between child and parent), each parent’s living situation, each parent’s willingness to support the other’s relationship with the child, abuse, or neglect of the child by one or both of the parents, and the child’s preference (only really for older aged children). In the Commonwealth, absent some sort of neglect or abuse, courts have found that it is usually in the best interest of the child to have as much time with each parent as they can.

The determination of best interest is applied to each child separately, but the court also does not generally like to separate siblings and is likely to award the same for all but is under no obligation to if each child might benefit from more or less time with each parent. For instance, if you have one child who needs more attention than the other(s), the court may determine that the time of the children with each parent might be different. For example, if you have children of very different ages or one who is disabled and others who are not, the court may find that it is in the best interest of the younger or disabled children who will require more attention to be with the nurturing parent more.

A parenting coordinator is a neutral third party that will assist parents in making a decision that is in the best interest and welfare of the child. A parenting coordinator is generally used when parents have the same 50/50 legal custody interest and disagree. This neutral third party will have the ability to swing the scale one way or another. This keeps the parents out of the courts and allows them to come to a conclusion for their child more quickly than they might be able should a judge need to make the decision.

When a couple is married, the father (or same-sex spouse) automatically is presumed to be the other parent of the children of that marriage. This presumption is rebuttal in a number of ways. However, if the couple is not married when the child is born, there is no presumption.

The lack of a presumption means that essentially the other parent has no automatic parental rights. This parent must take action to assert these rights. This can happen by both parents signing a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Parentage or having a court adjudicate them as the other parent of the child.

In certain situations, such as where there has been domestic violence in the past, the plaintiff in a case might be understandably hesitant to provide the other party with their address. Filing a motion to impound your address will allow the court to approve you not sharing your address with the other party. An attorney can help you through this process.

Much like a divorce, it can take some time before you get in front of a judge for a determination of custody. This can feel even longer if you have a child who is struggling with the status quo. In this situation, it might be prudent to file a motion for temporary orders. This type of custody is only available in certain circumstances, and a lawyer can help you determine how it may or may not help in your personal situation. Also, this type of custody is not meant to be permanent, it is as its name suggests, temporary, and you will still need to file for custody.

This amount can be agreed upon by the parties themselves. However, if the parties cannot agree, Massachusetts sets the child support guidelines that you can go through with your attorney. These guidelines are essentially a math equation that helps you determine what the child support number should be. There are many variables that must be considered when calculating child support via the guidelines and is often helpful to have an attorney go through with you.

In certain situations, the court may deviate from these guidelines. This will revolve around the special circumstances that the family face. However, generally, the court will remain very close to the guidelines.

In certain circumstances, a child custody order may be modifiable. In Massachusetts, you may modify your child custody, if there has been “a material and substantial change in circumstances since the prior judgment was entered and the desired change of child custody/visitation is in the child’s best interest.” This means that something has changed in your, the other parent’s, or your child’s life that is substantial enough to warrant a change. 

Making a modification in a child support order is much like a modification in child custody and can be changed where there is a material and substantial change and that the . However, you may also be eligible for a modification in support if there are things such as a difference between the current order amount and what the amount should be in the guidelines (one of the parents makes more or less money now than before) and health insurance cost concerns (whether they have gone up or down).

In short, no. Child custody and support, while closely related, are two separate things. You cannot unilaterally decide to not allow the other parent to not see your children, even if they have not paid child support and are in arrears.

If the other parent is in arrears with their child support obligations, it would behoove you to file an action for contempt in the court that granted your order. This puts the court on notice of the contempt and might be able to work with the other party to get them out of arrears.

When looking at the child support you pay, it is important to remember that the money you are paying in child support is not the other parent or yours. It is your children’s money. However, this does not mean that the other parent must spend that exact money on the children.

The child support guidelines layout what it generally costs to raise a child and weigh the income and time spent with each parent. After computing all of those factors, the guidelines will then generate a number. However, there is no obligation of the payee spouse to use that specific money for their children. In fact, generally, the payee spouse does not use that money for the children.

As mentioned above, child support is generally only what it would cost to provide that child with necessities. While extra curriculars are very beneficial for children, they are not considered a necessity for the purposes of child support. Therefore, generally, both parents will have a responsibility to pay for at least a portion of these activities.

Limited Assistance Representation (LAR) works to keep the cost of representation down without sacrificing a great deal when it comes to representation. This process allows for a client to be responsible for certain parts of their divorce while their attorney remains responsible for others. This is an agreement between the attorney and yourself which clearly layout which one of you is responsible for which part of the divorce. For instance, say you feel that you need preparing and reviewing documents but do not need assistance in the courthouse. Your LAR will state clearly that the attorney is responsible for preparing and reviewing documents and that you are responsible for your own representation in court.

As you can imagine, cutting down on the amount of things that an attorney is responsible for will reduce the cost of your divorce. This process allows for people who cannot afford to have an attorney with them throughout the entirety of their divorce still get the representation and legal opinions necessary for protecting themselves and getting what they need from the process.